More Than My Disability
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My life with a disability.

Ending Learned Helplessness...

8/2/2016

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Ending Learned Helplessness by Getting Children to Understand Their True Ability. How do we do that?
 
Often times those with learning disabilities feel isolated and alone. Speaking from my own experiences, I recall feeling very misunderstood by my teachers and my peers. Most importantly I didn’t have an understanding of myself. Meaning I had no insight knowledge on what my disability was or what the word disability even meant. I get as parents and educators we want to protect our children.  Amen sister--this mama would do anything to keep her little lady out of harms way. However, as we take a step back, leaving our children in the dark is essentially promoting the very harm we are trying to avoid. No good has come to anyone who has been misinformed.
 
Why do we wait until high school to allow students to attend their 504 meetings and IEP meetings? Why as parents and educators do we tip-toe around the word disability? I’m sure by now you have a running list of reasons as to why this is the case, me too. Let’s flip the switch. Can you think of a list of reasons as to why it would be a good idea to inform/dial in our children/students to their learning needs?
 
Hopefully at this point you have a list forming even if it is a small list. Often the negatives generate more reasons as to why we do not do something.
 
What if we started small?  What if we worked together to inform our children of their needs by showing them their strengths? Let’s start to empower children to take ownership of who they are. In turn it will, wait for it, make our jobs easier. Yes, I went there. The goal isn’t about our jobs being easier but I’m all about added bonuses.
 
When we dial in a child they in turn dial us in. They then show us and tell us what is working, what they need help with, what is driving them batty, and what we can do to best support them. Empowering a child to express their learning needs instead of hiding who they are will create an adult who is able to do they same when working with a manager or when managing a group of people. Which turns breaks the cycle of producing adults who suffer from learned helplessness.
 
So how do we start to break this cycle? That is a fabulous question my friend.
 
This video will lay the ground work for helping children understand their abilities and a few things to avoid.

I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. Do you have something that works for you?

Next week, you will find a document that I have created for students to use when working with their teachers.
Be You. Be Bold. Be More.
 
Jenna

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How to focus when your ADHD takes over: Everyday tips

7/18/2016

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Fidget Guidelines
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Getting It All Done-To Do List Style

7/11/2016

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Stressed trying to get everything done? Me too my friend. After spending way too much time whining about it, I decided to mix up how I get things done. If you would like to feel accomplished and more productive. Please check out my YouTube video "How to Get It All Done To Do List" that explains my "handy-dandy" to do list. Oh and to make life easier, I have created and provided the downloadable list for you. Please let me know if you have any suggestions on how to make this better!

Be Bold, Be You, Be More!
-Jenna


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Motivational Monday: 3 Steps to Owning it

7/4/2016

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Three steps to take to motivate you on a holiday Monday. 

Transitioning the blog into a vlog, how exciting. Content will still be uploaded to the website and the blog but please subscribe Youtube for even more up to date information.

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Communication and Empowerment

11/16/2015

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Hi Friends!

It has been a busy time for me as I am closing in on finishing my first semester as a doctoral student (how awesome?!). I want to take the time to introduce you to an awesome tool that was create by two moms; talk about some moms with awesome superpowers.

When you have a child who has special needs a whole set of fears and worries enter your mind. The first things we want to do is protect, protect, and protect some more... However, what we really need and want to do is give our child the platform for empowerment. 

Heather and Kate have done just that with the creation of Someone Special Books.  As a mom of a child with Propionic Acidemia (a rare metabolic condition) and teacher, Heather was inspired to create a tool that allows students to celebrate who they are with their teacher. 

"Our books start with a dedication page and then the first half of the books show how these children are like everyone else. We focus on their hobbies and interests. We then introduce the disability/special need/syndrome and talk about how it might affect the child. We leave the last page of the book blank for the parents to write any additional information about their child."

Someone Special Books has also received support from The Epilepsy Foundation and Autism Speaks.  

The best is Heather and Kate know the importance of inclusion. They have created a book, Maya Makes a Friend, "is about a little girl who goes to the park and sees another child in a wheelchair. The little girl has questions and her mom encourages her to go talk to the little boy. The two have a great day playing together at the park and become friends. This is a non-personalized book that contains talking points at the end to open the lines of communication and start talking about people of all abilities. "

I encourage you to visit their social media platforms and website:
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Be Bold. Be You. Be More.
Jenna
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Bully Prevention Idea

11/2/2015

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I know, I know...I'm a little late posting this activity. But as they say better late than never, right? I have attached one of my Bully Prevention Items. This is a whole school display that each homeroom was given a little kit given and to be creative. I really enjoyed seeing the classes make their flower pots. They also worked out nicely as a school-wide display for a community or parent-teacher night (I can't remember which one it was). Any-who happy counseling creativeness. :) 
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wehavebloomedintoabullyingfreeschool.pdf
File Size: 256 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Be Bold. Be You. Be More.
-Jenna
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Perfect or Perception: The Aftermat Caused by Bullying

10/5/2015

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No one will argue that bullying can have both short term and long affects. I am a living and breathing example of what the possible outcomes will come from bullying: positive and negative.

My next blog idea kept smacking me in the face and I kept choosing to ignore it. Reason? I wanted to continue to Photoshop my life. Don't we all?

What I chose to ignore: 
  • "People will look at you and say she has it so easy". 
  • "You are one of the lucky ones, your disability is mild" or "You are lucky to have an invisible disability that you can hide".  
  • My friend Danielle Hogle posted these words: I quit. I'm done. on her Facebook page.
  • A mom I look up to sent me this: It was a Wednesday.

Okay universe you can stop now, I get the message.  I'm ready to share my story. I was bullied from 4th until 8th grade. No one ever did anything about it. Everyone knew but no one cared to do anything. I was singled out by peers and teachers. I was called stupid, ugly, fat, hopeless, and many more hurtful things. I was left out of Christmas gift exchanges or given a different "less valued gift" while all the other girls in my friend group were given the same thing. My friends decided not to be my friends; I was given a letter that I wasn't allowed to sit with them anymore. When lunch came around they watch and waited for me to sit alone. To much of their disappointment I found someone to sit with: she didn't mind sitting alone but didn't mind if I joined her. This still puzzles me that she didn't mind sitting alone. What she will never know is she saved me from a life of no true friends and granted me a life filled with wonderful people all through showing me what a true friend looks like. To my own disappointment, I don't feel I was a true friend in returned. I lost touch with this awesome person years ago. I never got a break from bullying, I was everyone’s target. I would get corrected because I was not attending to a task; it was hard when the person next to you is cutting you down with their words through a 45-minute lesson. My "friends" prank called me saying this boy likes you as a set up to embarrass me the next day at school. My 8th grade came and ended and I was saved! My parents finally listened and sent me to public school. The tormenting ended to some degree. I still struggled with a peer here and there but in my eyes that isn’t bullying that's life. 

I will never be able to undo the damage that was done nor do I want to. To this day, I cannot sit alone in a public place to eat without getting a panic attack. I still struggle with friendships because it is really hard for me to let people in. I put myself through two years of counseling to deal with all the hurt caused from bullying. The self-esteem issues caused by bullying made me feel that I was worthy of a relationship. 

The good that came from being bullied:
  • ​I developed a can-do attitude 
  • It made me want to prove people wrong 
  • It is the reason I went into special education and school counseling 
  • It is the reason why I decided to chase my dream of earning my doctorate degree 
  • It is why I started More Than My Disability

​However, it took along time for me to see the good. I kept photo shopping my life every chance I got out of fear that I would get bullied again. I made sure I over prepared, never had to read aloud, avoided conversations, avoided the lunchroom, dressed nicely, only showed the good side. Until finally, life taught me a lesson, I became a mom, and photo shopping my life wasn't worth my time. I went through some growing pains and then decided to own my disability.  I decided to: Be me. Be bold. Be more than my disability.  If there is one thing I want you to take away from my story it is to stop trying to be someone you don't want to be out of fear that you will be alone. The truth is more people will love the real you. 
 



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Community Over Competition: Dyslexic Addition

9/18/2015

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Meet Kyle:

Kyle is making headway all the way in the UK. He has started a really motivational Instagram feed and website. Like me, Kyle is dyslexic and struggles with spelling as well as reading aloud. He started DysAdvantage because he wanted to create a platform for young dyslexics. He wants to give dyslexics the tools they need to start their own business. In Kyle's words, "Dyslexia needs to be glamorized so people feel special and needed. There're some really successful dyslexics out and I want to decode their minds to help other dyslexics succeed in life." Well said, Kyle. Below are his links for email and Instagram 

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Meet Cindy:

Cindy is an awesome educator and person. She was one of the very first people I meet via social media that was like myself. Cindy is also dyslexic. She shares her story openly because she wants people ecpescially kids to know that despite struggling with academics they too can be successful. "At one point in my life I felt very much alone and ashamed of my learning difference. Somewhere out there is another little kid who is feeling the same way; therefor, by being public with my identification maybe I can inspire them to embrace who they are and understand what a learning difference is what they have it's not who they are." Cindy started The LD Coach and Triumph In Life in 2008 and her reason "to help students and adults with learning disabilities triumph in life".  A daily struggle for Cindy is organization, spelling, and expressing herself verbally. Please use the links below to visit Cindy's social media platforms.

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Meet Elisheva:
Elisheva had similar school experience as myself she was often misunderstood. She works with people who are the cutting edge of research for the dyslexic addition. Her companies are called Elisheva Schwarts Consultancy and The Dyslexia Quest Podcast. In her interview, Elisheva felt that her skills was not being recongized. Her goal is to educate people what it is like to be Dyslexic with the hope to take away the learned helplessness. Elisheva has a very informative podcast. Her her words its all about "a revolution". She uses a lot of technology products like myself to be a succeful person who has multiple "labels".  Please check her social media platforms. She is doing amazing work!

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Community Over Competition: Meet Ben

8/31/2015

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PicturePhoto provided by Ben Jackson
I thought for a moment I was the only one doing what I am doing. In a sense I am; it is my story and my brand. However, on this journey to becoming More Than My Disability, I have found that I am not alone. The feeling I have felt my whole life due to becoming labeled with a disability. 

One would think I would jump for joy once I found others on a similar path who shared a similar vision. This was simply not the case; I am human. I remember the first time I came across a fellow blogger, business owner, and person with a disability. I allowed myself without even knowing to get jealous. I instantly stopped the feelings that started building to remind myself that it isn’t about competing. It isn’t about who did it first, who is doing what, or who is doing it better; it’s about community. 

The sense of strength, passion, fight, and advocacy a community brings to the table. This community works towards the important goals of breaking down barriers, dismissing the misconceptions, and working towards improving the lives of people with disabilities.

This month, I bring you a collection of posts dedicated to my fellow bloggers, business owners, an advocates who all have adopted the same philosophy (in their own words) “Dismissing the dis in disability: allowing the ability to shine”. That’s right in some form or another they have felt the pain, the struggle, the joy, and the passion that comes from being a person with a disability or a parent of child with a disability.

I hope you find each of their stories uplifting and encouraging. I know I have enjoyed getting to know each them via written communications, social media platforms, and some a Skype call. My hope by highlighting each of these individuals you will gain new knowledge and a better understanding of life with a disability.





First up, Ben.

I have no idea where I want to began when talking about Ben. You see Ben is a one of a kind person who began his journey to being "More Than My Disability" at an early age with Spastic Cerebral Palsy. In Ben's words, "Growing up in Brooklyn, New York, I always had visions of achieving great things, things that would impact millions of people around the world." 

Ben, decided to show people who tried to bring him down by teasing and bullying him that you can do anything you want, if you have the right mindset. Despite his disability he decided to become an athlete. Ben's story is so powerful and so moving that he was featured in a Gatorade--Win From Within video that has been watched over a million times (I watched it at least 5 times).

When Ben sent me his story I was moved to tears. Not because I felt pity or sadness but pure joy. I shared a confession that it has taken me 29 years to become comfortable saying I have a disability. I thanked him for his courage. His response, "I find that the best things in life often come to us by surprise, that's why I responded to your post." 

Ben is currently a student at Northampton Community College with goals of earning his associates degree in Communications. He wants to continue his education until he receives his doctoral degree in Communication. His goal is to become a motivational speaker that continues to inspires people all over the world. 

In addition to his Gatorade video, Ben was invited to attend the Ravens training Camp, where he gave a speech to the team last year. This summer he spoke at the 2015 Beyond Sports United and just about a week ago he spoke at the New York Giants training camp. You Rock Ben!

You see, like me, Ben was teased and bullied for being different. Ben told me, "But's that's why I want to live a life devoted to making individuals going through any kind of adversity feel like they are not alone." 

Ben is a bright example of why I have decided to adopt the mission of community over competition. At the end of the day we all want the same thing; to make the world a better place. 


To learn more about Ben and his journey I encourage you to follow his very motivational social media platforms which I have linked here:
Thank you Ben for allowing me to share your story.


Jenna
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Achieving Organization In Chaos

8/28/2015

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The title says it all. Whether you have a disability that interferes with your organization skills, every person can benefit from this entry. Why? Simple, we all live in some form of chaos. Crazy-busy families, work, travel for work, school, living with a disability, having ADHD, or having a child with ADHD, or all of the above. 

My counselor friends, you live in chaos everyday and so did I as a School Counselor. Organization is achievable but you have to be disciplined and organized. 

I just started my first week as a doctoral student. Oh boy, talk about chaos. I had a moment of panic with my advisor. I said, "How in the heck am I going to get all of this done? You're a mom who earn her PhD with kids in the mix. How in the heck did you do it?" Her response was simple, "schedule everything." She told me I need to schedule everything in my life, even down to when I'm going to shower to when I'm going to spend time with my family. She even said it might sound cold but it works and you will find yourself less worried by having it all mapped out. 

I also feel it's important that you build in flex time because life doesn't always go as planned. That's life.

The Three Most Common Excuses:
1. I'm too exhausted from all the chaos to even think about improving my organization skills.

2. Remember, I live in chaos and its comfortable. Why should I change my habits? Wait, weren't you just complaining about never having enough time?

3. I have no idea where to start.

The Three Reasons You Should Start:
1. Effective time management leads to productivity. When you feel productive, you are happy and motivated. This allows you to have more energy, get more sleep, and spend more time on the R&R; like time with your family, friends, enjoying a hobby, or all of the above.

2.The sense of control. The more organized you are, the more in control you will feel. 

3. Eliminating a Stressor. I don't know if you are like me but If it's not written some where then I'm trying to remember the task in order to make sure it gets done. This can be very stressful and you are setting yourself up for failure; you are too busy to remember every detail.

What works for me:
  • Google Calendar
  • The ability to color code everything in google calendar
  • The ability to share this calendar with my  family, staff, etc. (hint because you are able to make multiple calendars within your one calendar you have the ability to control who sees what.) 
  • The ability to see my calendar in multiple places. I.e. computer, phone, tablet, or even in paper for.  (hint use the google calendar  app if you are an iPhone user). 


Here's a break down of how to use Google Calendar:





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    Jenna Alvarez, a 29 year veteran of living day-to-day life with ADHD, dyslexia, and as the 90's liked to define as specific learning disability, countless IEPs, medications, and any form of "help" to lessen the effects of the disability. A current doctoral student at Ohio University, yes you read that right, a disabled doctoral candidate; a subpar GRE score, disabled student reaching the impossible.

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